there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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