I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
