So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize