honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Pappa wants mamma naked
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
