Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
