Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
