i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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