Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
