I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
