so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Farmville is her only friend.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
