He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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