a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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