DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Randomize
