1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
