i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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