she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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