just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize