Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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