yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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