Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize