STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
