Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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