So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
