All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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