Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
