I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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