Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
