This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
