He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
it's like heaven, but drunker
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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