I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
