It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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