This dress was meant to end up on your floor
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
