we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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