your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
