Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
