talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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