Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
