CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
