What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My cat gives me a boner
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
