Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Shame - the story of my life.
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