The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
