I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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