Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
