swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
