I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
