Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
