I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
