carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
