You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
