we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
