she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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