How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
