i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
