we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
