His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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