Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
