last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
