I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you inspire me to be a worse person
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
