why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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