It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
