Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
