I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
