In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I look better un-naked...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
