no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
