you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
