so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
